J.R.'s Family Bar-B-Q

No Way Out is in the books, you know “the books,” and “My Tazz,” MyNetworkTV’s biggest star, and I are back from the Pacific Northwest after a couple of days in Seattle and two days in Portland. It was an interesting road trip to say the least, and I usually don’t … say the least that is.

In case you haven’t heard, Edge, who still works for his wife on Friday Night SmackDown, is the new World Heavyweight Champion much to the chagrin of the ubiquitous John Cena and the Raw Universe. WWE HOF’er Bobby “The Brain” Heenan has been called “Weasel” in the past, but I’m sure “The Brain” would be willing to loan Edge the “Weasel” moniker as that is how the Ontario native became an eight-timer, by weaseling his way into the World Title Elimination Chamber Match at N.W.O. after eliminating Kofi Kingston. I would like to think that if something like that happened in the SmackDown Elimination Chamber Match that a SmackDown Superstar would have not allowed such a travesty. My how things have changed on WWE’s beloved “A” broadcast, or so it would appear.

I wonder what the over/under is for Edge holding the World Title past WM25? Let’s give that some thought over the next few weeks.

Notwithstanding the fact that Jeff Hardy pinned Edge in less than 5 minutes last Sunday in Portland, one might assume, and we all know what happens when one assumes, that Edge might not want to get to comfy sleeping with the massive title that still reminds me of when WWE HOF’er Ric Flair wore that particular gold championship.

Friday Night SmackDown has a scent of “Diva Mania” this week when Maria and Eve Torres, in only her second bout, face reigning Divas Champion Maryse and the first Divas Champion Michelle McCool. These M&M’s won’t melt in one’s mouth or one’s hand and will give the inexperienced duo of Maria and Eve all they can handle. The underlying story regarding the Divas Title and how badly McCool wants it back is something to keep one’s eye on as well as if there wasn’t enough already for any red-blooded, male to keep an eye on already in this tag bout.

BTW Maryse is the “World’s Angriest Announcer’s” favorite Diva or so I strongly suspect. I think the former “Human Suplex Machine” should sell Maryse posters in the old, Farrah Fawcett mold (so I dated myself, so what, ask your Dad as he will know) to raise funds for the mighty, Long Island Junior Ducks who will field one of the great, young baseball teams in the entire northeast this season. I know my pal Stocky Balboa has people who can get Tazz a “brother-in-law” deal on such tasteful imagery.

MVP has a banner night this Friday on MyNetworkTV as the “Baller” is on the hunt for the United States Title currently held by the best all-around athlete in WWE, Shelton Benjamin. MVP is definitely getting back to his old self by again, but the jury is still out as to whether or not MVP can beat Benjamin in a straight up, one-on-one title bout. MVP has true Junkyard Dog-like charisma from bell-to-bell which isn’t a bad thing when one is compared to a WWE Hall of Famer. This is not to be confused with the fact that R-Truth possesses a JYD-like smile as I have mentioned before on TV, in case you are keeping score at home. This is what is known in the biz as a “Finkel Fact.”

Read the rest of J.R.'s column at WWE.com »